The Big Yellow School Bus

So this morning, I decided I needed a little something extra to get my day going since I haven't slept very well the last couple of days.  On my way to Sonic for a Diet Coke with Fresh Lime, my very favorite drink I might add, I noticed one of the little neighbor girls with her mom and siblings waiting for the school bus.  She is starting kindergarten today.  On my way back from getting the drink, the school bus pulled up and she got on, seemingly SO excited as her mom was waving at her and telling her to have a good day.  Then the doors shut and off she went.  I was able to watch her mom looking at the bus as it drove out of sight and I admit, I started crying.  I couldn't believe myself, she's not even my child, but I just couldn't help it. I've been a little sensitive lately thinking of school, since McKay's starting preschool in the next few months.  I'm really having a hard time thinking about him going.  He's growing up WAY TOO FAST.  It seems like just yesterday when the nurses placed him in my arms and I was able to look at his beautiful face for the very first time.  He, and well as my other children are such precious gifts from my Father in Heaven.  I have always wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl and I probably drove Chad crazy after we got married, so anxious to start our family.  I just felt an urgency to step into the roll I always knew would be mine.  After almost 3 years we welcomed him into our family.  What an amazing 4 1/2 years I've had learning to be his mother.  There has been joy and laughter, fun and frustration, lots of hugs and kisses, many precious "I love you mama's", his beautiful face lighting up when he learns new things, his AMAZING singing voice that melts my heart, the little glimpses of his spirit that come out when I hear his beautiful if not a little unconventional prayers he says, as he blesses each individual piece of food on his and his brother's plates, and then blesses them again for good measure.  But on the other side there have been the  trials I never thought I would have to face.  Seeing his precious little body having seizures as I had to sit by helpless and scared to death.  Our 2 ambulance rides that he doesn't remember while I do with vivid detail, and think about each time I hear a siren. Witnessing the great faith of his sweet Daddy as he used his Priesthood to bless his sweet son and the increase of my faith as I put things in the Lords hands although I didn't want to.  Those moments of uncertainty and fear that were replaced with a sure knowledge that Heavenly Father knew us and knew of our struggles.  So as the big yellow school bus approaches and the time for school draws near, I worry about sending him out into the harshness of the world. Have I taught him enough?  Does he really understand that he's a son of God and that he can always go to his Heavenly Father when he is sad, scared, feeling alone? Does he know I'll be praying for him EVERY step of the way?  Does he really know I'll be his champion?  That I love him with all my heart?  That I'll be home waiting for him to tell me all about his big adventures, to wipe his eyes when he cries and cheer for him when he succeeds?  That I love him with my WHOLE HEART?  That the Lord hears and answers prayers?  I guess it all comes down to having faith enough to let go and trusting the Lord by putting it once again in his hands.  I know I'll be praying for a giant increase in faith and for comfort and understanding as he steps into the school and begins this new chapter in his life.