I thought McKay's Thursday was scary, but I found out I hadn't seen anything yet.

So after McKay's scary Thursday, things were getting relatively back to normal and we hadn't seen any more seizures so we decided for the time being we weren't putting him on the medicine. Monday night, the 23rd we went to get our haircut. When we were all done and ready to walk out the door, I looked away for a moment and caught out of the corner of my eye McKay having a strange twitch. It only lasted a split second and I almost thought I was seeing things, but after Thursday's events, seeing that freaked me out a little bit and I got sick to my stomach, I asked my mom who happened to be there if she saw it too and she did. It was so quick and then he was acting totally normal so I dismissed it. That night I mentioned it to Chad but we didn't really think anything of it. Later that night, McKay was in bed with us and he sounded like he was breathing funny, but his eyes were closed and we thought he was asleep. We watched him for a few minutes but then he went back to sleep and his breathing sounded normal again so we went back to sleep. About 7:30 Tuesday morning (Chad's birthday incidentally), Chad had already gone to work and I woke up to McKay having a seizure like the ones he had on Thursday. It was over in about 30 seconds and then I just watched him sleep for a while. He woke up a little while later and said Ma morning mama (his standard good morning greeting) and he seemed fine. I didn't really know what to do so I just watched him like a hawk and tried to get him to eat breakfast. He didn't want any so I didn't push it. About 10:30 he had another seizure, again the same as the others. At that point, I decided to call his pediatrician. We had a follow up appointment scheduled for Friday but because of what had happened I called and wanted to get in that day. Chad came home and about 12:30 we went to the doctor and he checked him out just to see if he was sick, or had a high fever (sometimes being sick and having a fever spike can bring on seizures) Everything checked out and he wasn't sick so we talked about medication and decided to start him on it that night. We got home and Chad went back to work. My dad had watched the other boys while we were gone with McKay and he left as well. Just as he left McKay went to his room to go get his stuffed animals to bring out to the couch (he loves to surround himself with them) when I heard a strange sound. I went into his room and found him having another seizure. He had fallen on the floor so I scooped him up and brought him into the living room. I looked out the window and saw my dad wasn't gone yet so I called him and he came back in. This seizure started the same as the others but just kept going. My dad was holding him. It kept going and after 5 minutes I gave him the rescue medicine the doctor had given us just in case he had a seizure lasting more than 5 minutes. I gave him the medicine and it didn't stop the seizure, so at that point I called 911 and the paramedics and fire truck came again. They gave him more powerful medicine (versed) when they got there and that didn't stop it so we were again headed up to the childrens hospital. Luckily my dad was there so he watched the other boys while I went in the ambulance with McKay. This time I had to ride in the front seat since they were working on them in the back. We were on the freeway and had the emergency lights on, when I heard the lady EMT in the back tell the driver to step it up a little bit once we got off the exit. My heart dropped and I got sick to my stomach because I realized she wouldn't tell the driver to hurry up unless he wasn't responding to their treatment. She probably figured I was freaking out a little because right after that she assured me his vital signs were good but the seizure was still going on, despite his second dose of versed so they wanted to get him to the hospital quicker for more medicine. I was grateful for her reassurance. Once we got to the hospital, they took him to the resusicitation room where I was greeted by the same nurse we had 5 days before. (what are the odds) The doctors came in and then gave him another powerful medicine (Ativan) when he finally stopped seizing. From start to finish that one was about an hour and a half. During that entire time I kept praying that the seizure would stop and wouldn't cause any permanent damage. I have to say that day was the scariest day of my life. I really thought I could lose him and it just broke my heart to see him like that. Chad met us at the hospital and I was so grateful for his support once again. When he got there I noticed it smelled like gasoline in the ER. All of the doctors and nurses noticed it too and thought it was the ambulance bay. I then realized it was Chad. He preceeded to tell me that as he was rushing home to trade cars so he could go up to the hospital with McKay's car seat he saw the ambulance we were in turn the corner. He saw me in the passenger seat so he knew he had the right one. He decided not to trade cars and follow the ambulance instead. Just then he realized he needed gas and without it wouldn't make it to the hospital. He hurried to the gas station and started filling up as he saw the ambulance get further and further away. He said his only thought was getting to the hospital and being with his sweet son. When he had enough gas he took the nozzle out of the tank without stopping the flow of gasoline so it sprayed all over his pants. At that point he didn't care about the gas and his only concern was for us. It made me feel so good to know how much Daddy loves his Kay. After we found out what it was, the nurse went to get him some clean clothes that didn't smell like gas. BLESS HER! Once the seizure stopped the doctors and nurses said he would probably sleep for most of the day because of all the medication he had received. One of his nurses commented that if she'd been give that much medication she'd be flat on the floor. They admitted us and told us since his MRI and EEG after the last seizures were normal they weren't going to repeat the tests. It took most of the day for the meds to wear off and like last time Chad stayed overnight at the hospital while I went home to see after the other boys. When I got to the hospital the next morning, I walked in the room and tried to say good morning to McKay and he didn't even look up, like he didn't know who I was. It broke my heart and I had to sit down and have a good cry. Chad assured me that the neurologists told him he was just acting like that because of all the medicine he had the day before. I was so relieved, I had this horrible image in my head of my own child not knowing who I was for the rest of his life. When the meds had mostly worn off they let us take him home. They still don't know what caused the seizures and say that sometimes children just have them and will grow out of them. I sure wish there were answers but I've come to see that sometimes there just aren't any and I just have to have faith that everything will work out. McKay is now on daily medicine and thankfully hasn't had any more seizures. We are cautiously optimistic and hope he doesn't have any more. These experiences have taught me that I am not in charge and that Heavenly Father is there for us whenever we need him and that through the atonement we can receive comfort to get through anything that comes our way. I'm so very grateful for this knowledge and the comfort the gospel brings to my life.